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Marriage on the Rock, Not the Rocks!

“Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, over and over, with the same person.”

There is hope for you and your marriage relationship. As believers, deep, loving, and caring relationships grow from a relationship with God. You can flourish and bloom relationally through forgiveness and personal investment in your spouse.

I’m sure you are aware that every marriage pays for what has happened to the other one before. That can mean even our childhood. Past wounds must be dealt with to move forward together in healthy life growth. Are you paying attention to the God factor in your marriage?

He has a plan of uniqueness that reflects the gospel of Christ to those who see you. It’s in the very DNA of marriage. Church finds her roots in marriage! In Ephesians 5:31, Paul says, "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church."

Walls around our hearts are self-protection and self-centeredness. Self-protection is the cancer of all relationships. It is diametrically opposed to love. People often isolate themselves because of survival mechanisms. Our association with love often has a lot of pain linked to it. Understanding we are forgiven will help us let go of offenses with our mate. God’s kind of love is unconditional. It’s a love that lasts.

In reading from “In the Beginning” in Genesis 2:18, God said, "It's not good for the man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." Figure this… the word “ALONE” doesn’t mean single and not married. The word alone means isolated. You can be married and still isolate!

Consider these simple truths. You need to know about these Hebrew words from Genesis for clarity when dispelling misconceptions. In modern Christian circles, wives are usually called ‘helpmeets’ to their husbands. The term combines two King James Version words used to translate the Hebrew words “Ezer and Neged.” To us, a ‘helper’ is an assistant, lower in status and job description than the one helped. But the original language doesn’t do that!

Ezer, the word translated “help” or “helper,” occurs repeatedly throughout the Old Testament. Elsewhere, it never refers to a subordinate helper; instead, it’s used to identify an equal help or one with superior power.

The word is often used to describe God as our helper, as in Psalm 121:1-2: “I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”

We are comparable and counterparts. There are likenesses and similarities. We are equal but different in function. We are to be a team. We all know some ‘submission’ doctrines have gotten out of balance. In actuality, the Greek word for it is “hupotasso,” and it means to arrange oneself under for the purpose of lifting. God did not become less when He breathed into man. Man did not become less when a woman was taken from him. Mutual submission is a beautiful quality of all believers to one another. Paul made the reference in Ephesians 5:21: “to submit to one another in the fear of God.”

Marriage is not a big thing; it’s a million little things. Building blocks of relationships are the repeated instances of possible attention given to cues and clues from the other. It expresses awareness and connection in daily opportunities to show kindness, interest, and value. God’s love is in us, as we are in Christ. Again, it’s unconditional love.

If you’d like to invest in one another, we recommend the online profile for the 5 Love Languages. It is so interesting to note our differences. It will broaden your horizons and reveal the differences in each other's preferences. It’s often said that if you want to be healthy, happy, and disease-free, make good relationships! It is the #1 factor in health and longevity!

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